How to handle kids Tantrums? You as a mom or dad, especially first-time parents, how do you handle the tantrums of your children?
Here is a fact:
Our children are not robots. Like adults, they also have feel different emotions and we should give them time to feel it, and we should let them vent express their emotions. Even babies have their frustrations too, especially when they can’t express themselves because they can’t really talk yet. If us adults get annoyed or frustrated, the children are also the same. If they want to feel sad, let them be. If they want to cry, let them be. That’s their only way to express themselves and to communicate with you.
No one knows your child best except for you. You have been with them since they were conceived until they were born. One of the best way to lessen tantrums is for you to get to know your child. Every small detail about them matters. You should know why they are acting out or throwing tantrums. As we always say, each child is unique but there are some similar points that you might be experiencing the same with other parents. One of these is TANTRUMS.
Below are the usual reasons why kids throw tantrums:
THEY ARE HUNGRY – The most usual reason why our children cry or throw tantrums is because they are hungry. Since they were born, you will only hear only cry when they are hungry. It’s also the same for toddlers. They would also cry and as parents, you would notice their body language when they are hungry or not.
THEY DIDN ‘ T GET WHAT THEY WANT – This is the hardest one to avoid. Usually as parents, we wanted to provide them everything they need and even anything they want. However, we have to be cautious with this. Our children are very smart. Even babies, they would know how to manipulate you for them to get what they want. Therefore, we always have to give them limitations. Give them rules. What and what not to do, what they can have and what they can’t have. Everything starts at home and as early as now, you can already train them.
THEY ARE ATTENTION SEEKING – Our children, especially toddlers, they are explorers. They don’t understand much and that is why their curiosity makes them want to try and experience everything they see around them. This is also the stage when they need attention from you. They would do everything to get your attention. Sometimes they would cry, they would purposely not comply or at times, they would just roll on the floor.
THEY ARE SENSORY SEEKING OR OUT OF FOCUS – If there are unusual behaviours that you notice your child is exhibiting (agitated or uneasy) there is a chance that the your child is seeking sensory stimulation. If you find it very unusual or alarming, there are developmental paediatricians whom you can ask help. This is also a way for you to understand you child better.
What can you do?
Introduce them to a “SAFE” place. Have an area in your house where they can get messy or cry without getting hurt. Let them cry, let them feel what they want to feel. They will eventually get tired and saturated. Sometimes they just needed to let their emotions out. This is also a way for them to teach themselves to regulate themselves and calm down. Give them time. Talk to them calmly about the event give a hug and kiss of course so they can feel “I’m here son ready to listen”.
If you think they are seeking attention, ignore them if need be. However, if you want to ignore them, you have to do systematically. Their safety is the utmost priority. Stay where your child can see you so they know you have not left them.
We understand you. Tantrums are NOT fun. They are really stressful, frustrating, exhausting, exasperating and at times, downright embarrassing for parents to deal with. You are not alone. This will get better eventually.